


Past Lessons

by LilyK



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 07:52:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/795682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyK/pseuds/LilyK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim and Blair's introduction to Simon's mentor triggers memories and fears from a past long-gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Past Lessons

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired by the movie, Dead Again.

Thanks to Double R for the fine beta job. 

* * *

"Sandburg! Ellison!" Simon Banks' deep voice reverberated over the din of the smoky bar that was a favorite Cascade PD hangout. "Over here!" He called out as he waved. 

Blair touched Jim's arm lightly. "Hey, man, the smoke is going to bother you." 

Jim chuckled at his lover as they crossed the room to Simon's table. "Thanks, Chief. I'd better turn it down a bit if I want to be able to breathe." 

As they approached the table, Simon rose and his companion joined him. "Jim Ellison and Blair Sandburg, I would like you to meet my mentor and former Captain, Grant Sessions. Jim and Blair are good friends of mine, not to mention my best detective team." Simon grinned, very pleased to have finally gotten his mentor and his proteges together at last. 

Blair smiled as they shook hands. "Hi, nice to meet you, Captain." 

"Good to meet you, sir." As Jim shook the man's hand, something in his touch caused Jim's senses to jump. Blair noticed and he caught his attention, but Jim shook his head minutely. Blair acknowledged with a slight nod. 

Grant frowned for a second as he looked at the men, before he blinked rapidly several times. "Please, fellows, call me Grant. I see you are on a first name basis with Simon, so that's good enough for me. Besides, I haven't been in uniform for a long time. I'm just a regular citizen now." 

Blair ordered beers and Jim looked Grant over appraisingly. Grant was a lean, tall man with gray hair and sharp facial features. He had brown eyes and wide, leathery hands. They knew from Simon's constant bragging of his mentor, that Grant had been in the Federal Bureau of Investigations from 1945 to 1965, joining at the tender age of 24. Because of his experience with law enforcement, and after his FBI retirement, he had been persuaded to join the Cascade PD, where he served for another twenty years until his retirement from that organization in l985. 

Simon patted his mentor's shoulder. "Gentlemen, if it weren't for Grant, I wouldn't be your Captain right now." 

Blair rolled his eyes. "So, it's all your fault? What can we do to thank you?" 

Grant managed a small smile. "Yes, I'll admit, it's all my fault. Seriously, though, Simon was the best rookie I ever had in my department. I've been extremely proud of him since the first day we met. I guess I kind of took a liking to him. Hell, I probably gave him preferential treatment, but he was worth it." 

Simon beamed under his mentor's approval. "Thanks, my friend. I would have never made it without you. After the military, I thought I knew it all." 

Blair smirked at Simon. "You, Captain? I would never think that about you, knowing what a mild-mannered kind of guy you are." 

Simon good-naturedly growled back. "Sandburg, are you in the mood for stake-out? Your partner won't appreciate that, I'm sure." 

Blair cast a quick glance at Jim, who was sitting quietly, not drinking, and watching Grant. Simon also noticed Jim's lack of conversation. 

Simon stared at his detective. "Ellison!" 

Blair touched Jim's arm and Jim shook his head slightly. 

"Jim, are you with us?" Simon hoped that those Sentinel senses weren't going to act up. 

"Sir?" 

"Jim, I asked you if you were with us. You seemed to be daydreaming." 

"Oh, sorry, Simon. Just a bit of a headache. I lost my concentration for a second." Jim shook his head again, trying to relieve the slight buzz that was starting to build in his ears. He directed a polite smile at Grant. "Sir, tell us, what was Simon like as a youngster? To hear him tell it, he was Superman and Elliot Ness, all rolled up into one." 

Blair and Simon laughed, but Grant sat for a few seconds with a confused look on his face. He cleared his throat and smiled, launching into a story about one of Simon's more colorful collars back in the good old days. While Grant seemed a bit distracted, he was well spoken and polite, and his stories about Simon were entertaining. Blair found himself liking the older man. Simon, obviously, was effusive in his praises of Grant and bestowed many compliments on him during the course of the evening. Jim remained elusive, managing to be polite, but Blair could tell that something was not quite right. Blair knew instinctively that something in Jim's senses was off, and he wondered if it had anything to do with the former Captain. 

As the evening progressed, Jim kept a close eye on Blair as he tried to relax. The sensory spike did not reoccur, and he argued with himself off and on. Why did he feel that Blair was in danger, and what could possibly happen to Blair in a place where at least two dozen police officers and detectives had gathered for a bit of fun and relaxation? 

Blair also kept a close watch on Jim throughout the evening. He knew Jim was on Sentinel alert. He considered the possibility that Grant was the cause and, if so, why would an old man approaching 80 cause Jim's senses to make him wary of danger? He was deep in thought when Simon's voice broke his concentration. 

"Sandburg? What's with you two tonight? First Jim and now you." 

Blair blinked quickly. "Oh, sorry, Simon. I guess I was daydreaming, too. What did you say?" 

Simon shook his head in exasperation. "I said that before you and Jim came in, Grant had hypnotized a couple of the guys from the precinct. Hypnosis is a hobby of his, and it's really very entertaining. How about one of you give it a try?" 

Grant interrupted. "Oh, Simon, come on, I'm sure they have much more interesting things to do than be hypnotized. It's nothing, really." 

"Nonsense," Simon insisted. "It will be fun. You're just embarrassed to show off your talent, that's all." Simon patted his mentor's arm. He turned to Blair. "How about you volunteering, Sandburg?" 

Blair immediately agreed. "Sure, I'm game. I've never done it before but I'm up for it if Grant wants to give it a try." Blair's protective instincts to the Sentinel responded quickly. Since Jim experienced the sensory spike, he wasn't taking any chances that anything further would aggravate those sensitive senses tonight. Blair figured that since Grant was a close friend of Simon's, what could it hurt? And besides, he thought it might be fun. 

Simon laughed. "Sandburg, I would have thought your mother would have had you hypnotized regularly." 

Blair shrugged his shoulders. "Well, I can never tell what Mom is going to be into from one day to the next, but when I was a kid we always went for tarot readings, palm readings, even tea leaves, stuff like that, but Naomi never took me for a hypnosis session." Blair smiled. " At least that I can remember." 

Blair glanced at his partner. Jim was still a bit distracted and Blair didn't want to take a chance that he might even think about volunteering to be Grant's subject. He nodded and turned his chair to face Grant's. "Ready when you are, sir." Blair said. 

Grant looked closely at Blair. "Are you sure you want to do this? It's really quite silly." 

Blair nodded. "Well, Simon seems to think it would be fun, so let's give it a try." 

Grant sighed, trying to shake off the uncomfortable feeling he was experiencing. Because he could think of no good excuse to get out of the situation, he finally said, "Just relax. Focus on the sound of my voice." Grant used a medallion on a thin chain to hold Blair's focus as he issued his instructions. 

* * *

Jim shook his head minutely and pinched the bridge of his nose. He suddenly became aware that he had let himself be distracted again by Grant's presence, and had not realized that Blair was allowing himself to be hypnotized. He watched closely and held his breath as Grant spoke to Blair. While Jim realized that Grant was Simon's friend and mentor, his Sentinel imperative to protect the Guide was immediately alert. Jim scanned Blair quickly. His face was relaxed, his eyes were closed, and his heart rate and respiration registered normal. 

Blair sat quietly as Grant spoke. "Blair, I want you to relax. You're going to go back in time to when you were five years old. It's dinnertime and your mother won't let you have another cookie. I want you to make a fuss until you get that cookie. When I count back from three, you will follow my instructions. Do you understand?" 

"Yes," Blair answered. 

Grant nodded. "Good. Okay, Blair, three, two, one." Grant waited for several seconds, but Blair failed to respond to the suggestion. Grant frowned slightly and once again spoke to Blair, telling him to travel back in time and he counted once again. 

Jim rose quickly as he sensed Blair's heart rate and respiration skyrocket. He saw a look of fear wash over Blair's face, and that he had trouble catching his breath. Then, in a strange and disjointed voice, Blair gasped out words and phrases that made no sense. He clutched at his throat and tears formed in his eyes. Jim grabbed Grant's arm and ordered him to bring Blair out of the trance. A moment later, Jim sensed Blair's sudden drop in blood pressure and just managed to catch him before he hit the floor as he collapsed. 

* * *

Blair's eyes refocused slowly. He blinked several times before realizing that he was lying on the floor of the bar. Jim was kneeling beside him, rubbing his hands and calling to him as Blair finally focused. "Jim? Why am I on the floor?" 

"Blair, come on, let's get you up." Jim led him to a chair. "Get him a glass of water please." 

Jim hovered over him until Simon brought the water. When Blair reached for the glass, he was surprised that his hand was shaking. Jim helped him hold the glass. "Take a few sips, Chief. That's it. Better?" 

Blair nodded. He rubbed his hands on his face, surprised to find that his face was wet. Blair's eyes were wide when they met Jim's. "What happened?" 

"You don't remember?" Jim asked quietly. 

Blair answered just as quietly, "No. Yes. I don't know. I feel funny." 

Sentinel instincts to protect washed over Jim. He sensed the danger to his mate. Jim stood with his hands clenched and snarled at Grant. "What the hell did you do to him?" 

Grant looked stricken. "Nothing. It's harmless, really. I've never had anything like this happen before." 

Grant moved closer to Blair, intending to apologize and to offer assistance. Suddenly, the panther screamed. Jim started, and Blair sucked in his breath quickly. Jim's head snapped up and his eyes blazed at Grant. "Stay back. You stay away from him." 

Jim's senses focused on Grant quickly. Grant was sweating; his heart rate was fast; his breathing shallow. The clicking sounds from his throat indicated that he was having trouble swallowing. Jim glared at him, knowing immediately that Grant was scared to death and desperately trying to regain his composure. Jim's thoughts about the cause were interrupted. 

Simon's tense voice cut through Jim's cold scrutiny of his mentor. "Jim! That's enough. Sandburg must have fainted, that's all. You don't have to be rude to my friend." 

Jim clenched his teeth. "Sorry, Simon." Jim knelt down beside Blair. "Chief?" 

Blair raised his face to meet Jim's eyes. "Don't let him touch me. He's a murderer." 

Jim rested a hand on Blair's arm. Had he heard Blair correctly? "He's what, Blair?" 

Blair's distressed eyes met Jim's. "I don't know. I feel trapped, like I can't breathe. I want to run, but I can't move." 

"Is Grant making you feel this way?" Jim asked. 

"Yes." Blair nodded. 

"I've had about enough of this." Simon growled. "Grant is a close friend of mine. He hasn't done anything to you, Sandburg. This is ridiculous." 

Grant stood silently beside Simon. He watched the interaction between Jim and Blair and the deja vu feeling washed over him from head to toe, making him shiver violently. Simon felt Grant's body tremble. He turned to his mentor. "Come on, Grant, I'll take you home." 

Grant nodded absentmindedly; his eyes still locked on the partners. Simon tugged on Grant's sleeve until Grant finally responded by moving his feet, following Simon's lead, but his eyes never left Jim and Blair until the closing door finally blocked them from his view. 

Blair sighed heavily and leaned back when Grant and Simon finally left the room. Jim was kneeling on the floor in front of him, a hand on either side of his chair. Blair touched Jim's arm, rubbing his hand lightly, feeling Jim's body shaking. "Come on, Jim, settle down. I'm okay. Let's just go, all right?" 

Jim gave him an encouraging smile. "Sure, Blair. Whenever you feel ready." 

Blair felt Jim's hand under his elbow and he rose and nodded at Jim. "I'm ready." 

* * *

Simon turned the corner from Rutledge Avenue to Channing Street a bit too sharply. He clamped down on his cigar, mumbling, "Sorry, Grant." He drove for several blocks before he couldn't stand the silence any longer. "What happened, Grant? What was Sandburg talking about?" 

Grant quickly glanced over to Simon before looking away. "Simon, I have no idea. Those two are up to something. Are you sure you can trust them? I think the younger one looks like he might be on some sort of illegal substance." 

Simon looked at his mentor with surprise. "Grant! I've known Ellison for almost ten years and Sandburg for six. They're both good men. I would trust them with my life." Simon smiled quietly. "I have trusted them with my life, more than once. Believe me, Sandburg isn't taking any drugs, illegal or otherwise." 

"I'd watch out for them if I were you, Simon. I was in the police world long enough to know a bad vibe when I feel it." Grant cleared his throat several times. "I think there's something wrong with the two of them. I didn't like the way Ellison touched Sandburg. Like they know each other way too, ah, closely. I'm always distrustful of those kind of people." 

Simon pulled the car to a halt, stomping on the brakes hard. He looked at his friend intently. While Simon knew that Jim and Blair were lovers, he had no intention of betraying this confidence, and he was somewhat taken aback at the prejudice coming from this man whom he had known for many years. 

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Simon snapped. "You think that because you perceive that Ellison and Sandburg are close that it makes them what, untrustworthy or dishonest? That is the single most stupidest thing I have ever heard you say!" 

Grant looked at Simon with panicked eyes. "Oh, Simon, I'm sorry. Please. That was uncalled for." Grant reached to touch Simon's arm but pulled his hand back quickly. "It was the accusations, Simon, what Sandburg said. Please. I've never done anything to either of your officers. I've never even met them until tonight. Please, Simon, I'm truly sorry." 

Simon sat quietly for several seconds considering. "Listen, Sandburg and Ellison are friends of mine. You're a friend of mine. I don't want to be caught in the middle. I value all of my friends, and I don't like the idea of having to chose between any of them just because you all didn't hit it off right away." 

Grant breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Simon. You are a true gentleman. Please know how sorry I am. I would never make you chose between your friends. If circumstances bring any of us together again, please believe me when I say I will make every effort to be polite to them." 

Simon nodded. "Thank you, my friend. Come on, I'll walk you to your door." 

* * *

For Sandburg and Ellison, the drive home was made quickly and quietly. Jim drove with one hand on Blair's knee. Only after they were in the loft and the door was closed and locked did Blair finally speak., his voice was barely a whisper. "Jim, are you okay?" 

Jim nodded as he stood very still directly in front of Blair, their eyes locked on each other. Blair rested his hands against Jim's chest. "Did you hear it?" Blair felt the quick beating of Jim's heart as his own breathing started to intensify. Jim nodded again. Blair closed his eyes. "Was it Grant?" 

Jim was silent. He was not in a mood to discuss things. They alone had heard the panther's cry. Protect. Claim. Possess. To the Guide, the panther's screaming signaled the Sentinel's distress. Senses were alert, alive, open. Jim's body tingled with energy. Blair's breath caught in his throat as he watched his lover. Jim's eyes had a feral glow. Blair stood quietly, dropping his hands to his sides. His breathing was faster now and his shaft started to harden. Jim grabbed a large handful of Blair's silky chestnut hair and pulled his head back. Blair gasped as Jim's lips crushed his and his arm pulled Blair forcefully to his chest. Jim's mouth against Blair's was unyielding, and his tongue plunged in to explore the inside as Blair opened his lips, inviting Jim to deepen his kiss. 

Blair's moans intensified as his dick swelled. Jim ran his hand over Blair's erection through his jeans; the heat rising from the friction burning Jim's palm. Blair's scent of arousal was strong as it tingled along Jim's nasal passages, and Jim's dick was already straining for release from his jeans. Jim snarled and he struggled to unbutton Blair's uncooperative jeans. Protect. Claim. Possess. Blair remained still as he shivered in anticipation, his eyes dark blue pools of passion. Jim growled hoarsely. "Mine!" 

"Yes! Yes, Jim, I'm yours." Blair answered earnestly as he pulled Jim to him. 

Jim pulled Blair's tee shirt from him rapidly, and just as swiftly unbuttoned Blair's jeans, pushing them down around his ankles. Blair's breath came in panting gasps as Jim pushed him to the living room floor, flinging away the last remnants of clothing. Jim's hands on his body were urgent, and needy, and rough, sending Blair's brain straight into meltdown. He could hardly think; he could barely gasp out Jim's name, as his mate's hands seemed to touch everywhere at once. 

Blair's dick was so hard it ached, and fluid was dripping rapidly as Jim's hands readied him. Jim had enough presence of mind to rise and locate a tube of lube in the bathroom and strip his clothes off swiftly before coming back to pounce on his mate. His teeth left a trail of marks on Blair's side as he sucked and bit his way from hip to shoulder. 

Jim's mouth found Blair's, his kisses almost desperate. He pulled back Blair's head, exposing his neck, and sucked on his Adam's apple. His hungry lips latched onto Blair's ear, biting the lobe and plunging his tongue in the warm cavity. Blair groaned and shuddered as goose bumps were raised on his arms. Jim's fingers found Blair's nipples, and he pinched and rubbed until Blair's hips bucked futilely, looking for some friction. 

Jim ran his teeth over Blair's nipples and Blair screamed. He screamed again as Jim grasped his balls and rolled them with his hand as his hot mouth worried the hard, tender nipples once again. Jim growled as he reluctantly released his lock on the nipples. His dick was ready and aching, and refused to be ignored. Jim slathered lube on it and positioned himself on his knees, legs tucked under his ass. He grabbed Blair's hands and pulled him to his knees, throwing Blair's arms around his neck, and crushing their chests together. 

Jim put his hands on either side of Blair's face and stopped, staring into his eyes. Blair panted frantically and blinked the sweat out of his eyes. Jim brushed a hand across Blair's forehead and licked the moisture from his hand. Blair shuddered and his dick jumped as Jim's tongue slid across his palm. Jim waited silently, giving him just seconds to catch his breath. He tugged Blair closer and dug his fingers into Blair's side, holding him steady. Blair licked his swollen lips. "Hurry!" he snarled as he urged on his mate. 

Jim slid a well-lubed finger into Blair's body. Blair trembled and pushed against it, trying to get it deeper. "More!" he ordered. Jim ran his hand up Blair's back to his head, cupping it in his strong hand and bringing their lips together, teeth clinking. Jim kissed him unrelentingly and passionately, hardly giving Blair time to breathe. Jim pushed two and then three fingers into Blair's hot cavity and Blair spread his legs, giving Jim full access as his throat rumbled at the sensations of Jim's fingers stretching and twisting in his body. When Jim finally released Blair's swollen mouth, his teeth found the skin on Jim's shoulder as Jim's fingers explored deeply. 

Jim maneuvered Blair until his body was positioned over his dick. Blair moaned and trembled as Jim pulled out his fingers and used his hand to press his shaft against Blair's asshole. Jim grabbed Blair firmly by the waist and pushed up his pelvis while pressing down on Blair's hips, sliding his dick into Blair's body in one slick, sizzling motion. 

Both men froze as the waves of pleasure washed over them. Then Blair shuddered as he wrapped his legs around Jim's hips, pushing down on Jim's dick, impaling himself on it as deep as it would go. Jim's arms held Blair firmly against his chest, trapping his shaft between their bodies. Blair groaned as he tried to thrust his hips, urging Jim to move. Jim rumbled deep in his throat and held on tighter when Blair tried to move again. With one arm wrapped tightly around Blair's back, Jim's free hand fondled and teased every inch of skin within its reach. He rubbed and touched Blair constantly. Blair's mind and body tried to process the sensations crashing through him. He had never been taken by anyone as Jim had taken him. Taken. Possessed. And loved. 

Blair's head dropped to rest on Jim's shoulder. His eyes were closed and his panting breath seared the side of Jim's neck as he tried desperately to catch his breath. Jim turned his face to meet Blair's, lapping his tongue over Blair's parted lips and licking the sweat from the upper lip. That wet, scorching touch was enough to send another shudder through Blair's body. Fiery waves of passion and possession coursed through his body. Blair's orgasm was building fast; the heat surrounding Jim's dick was overwhelming. Jim covered Blair's mouth with his, drinking in Blair's cries and moans. 

Jim held fast, just the feel of Blair's muscles contracting around his dick was enough to make him come. He fiercely tamped down the fire he felt growing. Then he sensed it. He felt Blair's blood hotly course through his veins as his heart pounded. He heard Blair suck in his breath and tense as his arms around Jim's neck squeezed. Blair came, long and hard, as Jim's hand snaked between their bodies and his nails raked Blair's nipples. Blair threw back his head and shouted as his orgasm was wrenched from his body in hot pulses. Spots danced in front of his eyes and he felt himself sinking as the room started to tilt crazily. Jim's teeth found Blair's shoulder and the sharp nip caused Blair's shaft to jump at the sensation and brought him back to earth. The semen that ran between their bodies was fiery hot on Jim's skin, and he was sure it would ignite him into flames. He crushed Blair to him tighter; Blair could hardly breathe. 

Jim finally rolled forward, guiding Blair to his back. Jim groaned loudly as Blair's ass squeezed his shaft. His hands grabbed several pillows and he shoved them under Blair's hips. He pried Blair's legs from around his waist and pushed them to his chest. Blair hooked his hands under his knees and lifted his hips. "Now, damn it," He snapped at Jim as he spread his legs wider. Jim rolled his hips and pushed his shaft in to the hilt. 

Blair growled deeply. "More," he urged. Jim started to trust slowly and then faster and harder. Jim possessed Blair, loved him, claimed him, protected him. 

The panther screamed. "Mine!" 

The wolf howled. "More!" 

Jim's thrusts were long and hard, and he felt his own orgasm starting to build. No, he needed more, not yet. He slowed his thrusts, trying to breathe, to slow things down, but his body demanded that he move. He growled deep in his throat as his body took control. He moved again in short, fast thrusts, and then changed the rhythm to long and hard once again. Blair tried to remember to breathe. He could hardly remember his name right now. 

Protect. Jim scraped his teeth across Blair's jaw as he continued his conquering of Blair's ass. Blair licked the side of Jim's face as it passed his lips. 

"Yes!" Blair cried out. 

Jim snarled. "Mine!" 

"Always," was Blair's response. 

The sweat ran in rivers down Blair's face and throat, pooling in the soft indent of his throat. Jim lapped it up. Now his orgasm would not be stopped. Protect. Jim yelled his claim as his orgasm crashed through him. He shuddered deeply as the last pulses of semen were pulled from his body by Blair's contracting muscles. 

Blair collapsed limply. Jim struggled to support himself on his hands and knees as his arms trembled from exertion. Several minutes passed, measured by ragged breathing slowly returning to normal. Then Jim's strong hands were all over Blair, patting, checking, exploring, testing. The Guide is marked; the Guide is protected; the Guide is safe. Blair flung his arm across his eyes and continued to catch his breath but otherwise remained still during Jim's investigation. Only when Jim was finished did he hold out his arms to him. Jim flowed into them, fitting his sweaty, sticky body perfectly into Blair's side and resting his head on his shoulder, kissing the skin within reach. All was quiet. Being held and protected and loved were important; words were not. Sleep quickly overtook the lovers. 

* * *

The floor became uncomfortable to Jim first. He opened his eyes and watched Blair sleeping for a long while. His hair was soaking wet and stuck to his face and neck. Jim peeled the sticky strands from the skin. Blair never woke as Jim kissed his hot forehead and placed more kisses on both eyelids, before kissing his tender lips. Jim tasted blood. He looked carefully. There was a drop on the corner of his mouth where Blair had bitten himself. Or maybe Jim had bitten him in a flurry of desire. Jim flicked the end of his tongue over the sore spot. Protect. The way of the Sentinel. 

Jim finally woke Blair and helped him up. After each man made a quick nature call and had a hasty wash, they made their way upstairs. Blair lay down, sighing and shifting his sore body. "Oh, God, Jim, that was awesome. Intense. Overwhelming." Blair's eyes glowed like blue sapphires. "You were primal. You were growling. Jim, you were in Sentinel protection mode, big time." 

Jim looked at his lover approvingly. "You weren't exactly docile there, Chief. That wolf has sharp fangs." Jim chuckled as he examined several sets of teeth marks on his body and more than one set of fingernail trails. Jim climbed onto the bed and gathered his lover into his arms. Blair settled into the inviting warmth of Jim's embrace. "I love you, Jim." 

"I love you, Blair. Always and forever. You are mine," Jim stated firmly. 

Blair laughed lightly. "You know, Jim, I kind of figured that. You're mine and I'm yours. End of story." Blair sighed contentedly as he ran his hand up and down Jim's arm. "I hate to bring this up but we have to talk about this, you now that, don't you?" 

"Yeah," Jim grumbled. 

"Something happened. Something was wrong, out of sync." Blair kissed Jim's shoulder. 

"Yes," Jim answered tersely. 

"It was Grant. But why? He's an old man. We've never met him before. Simon loves the guy." 

Jim shrugged. "Yeah, I know." 

Blair laughed as he looked at his lover. "Oh, man, you aren't being too verbal here. Come on, help me out. Tell me, Jim, what did you sense?" Blair lay his hand alongside Jim's face and waited until Jim's eyes finally met his. Blair kissed him softly. 

Jim sighed and nodded. "All right. I could sense the danger. It was so overpowering, Chief. I could feel it. He wanted to hurt you. He's already hurt you." 

"Wait, Jim, what do you mean, he's already hurt me? This is the first time we've met him, isn't it?" 

"Yes, it is, but Blair, do you remember saying Grant was a murderer?" 

"I remember saying it afterwards, after I woke up, but I don't remember why I said it." Blair's mind turned over the events. "You've got to help me out here, Jim." Blair waited for Jim's response. At Jim's total silence, Blair sighed, "Oh, man, you are driving me crazy. Come on, how could he have already hurt me if we've never met him before?" 

"Don't know." Jim answered curtly. 

Blair felt Jim's body stiffen and he started to withdraw. He could tell Jim was conflicted and a bit confused about his feelings and he stopped Jim's withdrawal with a gentle, reassuring pat on his arm. "Okay. Okay. Don't let it bother you. We'll figure this out. Well, then, tell me what happened after he hypnotized me. Exactly what did I say?" 

Jim nodded and sighed as he snuggled in closer to Blair, rubbing a finger absentmindedly through Blair's chest hairs. "He made the suggestion for you to regress to be a five-year-old and beg for a cookie. But when he counted, you didn't react to his suggestion. Then he made the suggestion again. That's when you started talking." Jim rubbed a hand on his forehead. "I know this is going to sound really weird, but it wasn't your voice, not exactly." Jim gave his lover one of those wicked Ellison grins. "I can tell. I have sensitive ears." 

Jim chuckled as Blair smacked his arm "Go on, Jim, then what happened." 

"You started rambling, just phrases, pretty muddled ones at that. You said something about the "Bureau". I guess you must have meant FBI, since we know Grant was there. You rambled about a witness and murder. It was really freaky. By that time, I was standing next to you and Grant was white as a sheet. I grabbed his arm and told him to get you out of it." Jim stopped. When he continued, his voice was shaky. "Then you started gasping, like you couldn't breathe, and you just fainted. I caught you as you fell and then you know what happened. You woke in just a few seconds." 

"Geez, Jim, that is weird. I remember flashes, but not much." Blair was quiet. Jim wondered what was going on in Blair's way-too-smart-for-his-own-good brain. "Now don't laugh, Jim, but do you think he could have hypnotized me into a past life?" 

Jim laughed as Blair scowled. "I asked you not to laugh." 

"I'm sorry. Really, I am, but that's just so funny. Only you would think it was a past life instead of something that has happened in this life. I mean, maybe he's your evil father come to claim you or something like that." Jim teased, then his face suddenly became serious and his voice was low and quiet. "I know I sensed danger. I just don't know what it is. And I don't like it much. I don't want anything to ever happen to you." Jim drew Blair into a bear hug and he put his lips against Blair's ear, whispering, "I love you and I would die to protect you." 

The intensity of Jim's words caused goosebumps to run down Blair's arms and his throat closed up as he slid his arm around Jim's neck. He had to swallow several times to find his voice. He buried his face in Jim's neck as he whispered, Sentinel soft: "I love you more than I ever thought it possible to love anyone." Jim smiled. 

* * *

Jim was dozing on the sofa when Blair came into the living room and fell to his knees in front of his lover, nuzzling his neck. "Jim, you awake?" 

"No." 

"Good. I need to talk to you." 

"I said no, I'm not awake." 

Blair kissed Jim's ear and nibbled on his earlobe. "Blair! You aren't going to let me have a nap, are you?" 

"Nope." 

Jim tried to appear stern as he looked at the face of his lover. Blair's eyes were happy and he was grinning. "What are you up to, Chief?" 

"Come on, Jim, sit up. I want to talk to you. It's important." Blair tugged on Jim's arm. 

"Okay, talk." 

Blair sat back on his heels. "I've been on the Internet, getting information about past lives and being hypnotized, regression, stuff like that. It's really interesting. Did you know that some people have been hypnotized and revealed that they've been reincarnated over and over again? They can remember where they were born, what their names used to be, who they married, who their children were. It's so cool." 

Jim held up his hand. "Wait a second. Say I even buy this for a second, what are you thinking, Blair? Don't tell me that you want to find out if you lived a past life. It's because of the other night. I can see it coming now. This is all your mother's fault, you know." 

Blair laughed. "After what happened, I want to see if it's really possible." 

"And how do you propose to find out?" 

Blair grinned. "Well, I figure with all your connections, you would know someone who was skilled in hypnosis." 

"So you're telling me you actually want to be hypnotized again after the other night." 

Blair nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, I want to find out if it's true, if I really have lived another life. And I think if we found a professional to do the hypnosis, and someone you trusted, it would be better. You could make sure everything progressed smoothly." 

Jim smiled at his lover's enthusiasm. "Well, Chief, you do have a point. If we're going to do this, it should be with someone who knows what they're doing. Come to think of it, I've got a buddy from Covert Ops. He was living in Seattle the last time I was in contact with him. He was a master at brainwashing and hypnosis. We became friends on one mission. I remember when we had to infiltrate..." 

"Jim, stop right there. I don't want you to have to kill me after you tell me this story. And I do not want to know about brainwashing. Even the thought gives me the creeps." 

Jim laughed. "Blair, Covert Ops is definitely not the place for you. Come to think of it, it isn't the place for me anymore either. So anyway, I'll call and see what he thinks. I remember he had some rather strange ideas back then. Knowing him, he probably even has had some experience with this kind of thing." 

* * *

Jim had set up the appointment with the ex-Covert Ops and mind control expert, Darien Anderson. They were meeting in a room at the Portsmith Hotel in downtown Cascade. Darien greeted his old friend warmly. 

"Jim, you son-of-a-bitch, good to see you again." Darien pumped Jim's arm enthusiastically. 

"Thanks, Darien, you too." Jim returned his buddy's greeting. "This is Blair Sandburg." 

"Blair." Darien smiled as they shook hands. "Have a seat, guys, and we'll get right to it." 

They sat around the small dining table. Blair was fidgeting in his seat when Darien asked, "Are you nervous?" 

"Yes, but I'm excited, too." 

Darien gave Blair an encouraging smile. "Why?" 

"Jim told me what happened the other night, how I freaked out." 

"This way it will be a more controlled environment. That night, there were a lot of distractions. The way Jim explained what happened, you seem to be sensitive to being hypnotized. It will help us to explore the possibility of your past life experience. You seem very receptive to the possibilities, which makes it a lot easier for both of us." Darien laughed. "Besides, I'm a professional." 

Darien patted Blair's shoulder. "Are you ready?" Blair nodded. "Since this is our first session, I think that about thirty or forty minutes will give us an idea if we're getting anywhere, and then you can decide if you want to continue. I don't want to overwhelm you right away, so this will give you a taste of how it works and how you'll feel after a session. Besides, I charge by the session so I can make more money stretching it out. Okay?" 

Blair laughed. "Yes, that sounds good to me, " he answered. 

"Good," Darien replied. "Now, I want you to focus on this coin. You will feel totally relaxed from your head to your feet. I want you to picture yourself walking down a long hallway. With each step, you are going deeper into a state of hypnosis. At the end of the hall is a door. When you open the door, you will travel back to your former life. I want you to observe only. You will be able to tell us everything you see and hear. Distance yourself. Your emotions are not involved. Do you understand?" 

Blair's voice was soft; his eyes were already unfocused as he watched the old Chinese gold coin spinning at the end of a gold chain. "Yes." He said breathlessly as his eyes fluttered once, and then closed. Jim monitored Blair intently. Blair was not asleep really, just ...different. He was relaxed. So much so that if Jim had pushed on him with a finger, he would have toppled from the chair. Jim watched him intently and scanned his body constantly. 

Darien led Blair on his journey. "Blair, what to you see?" 

Blair's breathing rose a fraction. "I see an office. There are desks and chairs, and lamps, and typewriters. Old, manual typewriters and big, black desk phones." 

"Do you see people?" 

"Yes. Mostly men, a few women. The women are typing and answering phones. One woman is pulling a paper from a machine, a Teletype machine." 

Darien and Jim's eyes met. Jim raised his eyebrow and Darien shrugged. "How are the men and women dressed?" 

"Ah, the women have on pretty flowered dresses. Their hair is bobbed and they are wearing red lipstick and red nail polish. The men all have on suits and ties. Dark blue, brown, gray. Some are wearing hats pushed back on their foreheads." 

"Blair, I want you to look around on a wall or on a desk, find a calendar or a newspaper. Find something with a date on it. Tell us what year it is." 

Blair paused before he stated, "There's a newspaper lying on the desk right in front of me. It says, June 12, 1947." 

Jim whispered to Darien, "Oh, my God. Do you think he's actually there, in l947?" 

"Yes, I do. Blair isn't the first person I've regressed into another lifeline. It's fascinating." Darien returned his attentions to Blair. "Blair, what else to you see? Describe everything in detail." 

"There's a man standing beside a desk. He has a badge clipped on the breast pocket of his suit. It says FBI. His name is Brent Sanders. He's smiling at another man, who is walking towards him. His name is Art Brooks. His partner is George Rayburn, who is across the room flirting with one of the secretaries. They're on assignment. They are supposed to be guarding a witness who is in protective custody. They're going to be late for their shift if Brent's partner, John Erickson, doesn't get here soon 

Jim motioned to Darien. "How do you figure that he can tell who these people are? How would be possibly know details, like what their assignment is?" 

Darien contemplated. "You remember that I suggested Blair was an observer. Apparently, he's been able to distance himself enough to be able to tell us what he's seeing without being personally involved. But he must be recalling information that he has first-hand knowledge of. That would explain his ability to recall precise details." 

Jim quietly contemplated this information. While he was curious, he was a bit anxious at the same time. It had never crossed his mind to even think that anyone had even lived a past life, let alone remembered it. What if it were true that Blair had lived another life in another time? 

Darien continued with the questioning. "Go on, Blair. Tell me what's happening now." 

"John's finally arrived. They're discussing who's driving and the route they are taking. The witness is in a safe house about fifteen miles from town." 

"What town is this?" 

"Seattle." 

"Give me a description of the four men." 

"Brent is thirty. He's around 5'7"; he has short, curly brown hair and blue eyes. John is 6' or so, he has brown hair and blue eyes. He's the oldest of the four, at 42. Art is the same height as John, but a bit stockier. He has brown hair and brown eyes. He's the newest member of this Bureau. He just turned 24. George is 5'10" and a bit overweight. He has thin, blond hair and brown eyes. He's about 32." 

"What are the men doing now, Blair?" Darien asked. 

"They're going out into the corridor and down the stairs to the street. They're laughing and talking. They've decided that John is driving, and that they're going to stop for food before they leave town." 

Darien checked his watch and looked at Jim. "He's been under about forty minutes and I think he's doing well. I'll bring him out now." Jim nodded. 

Darien spoke to Blair. "Blair, that's enough for today. When I count backwards from three, I want you to wake. You will remember everything we talked about. You will feel relaxed and refreshed. Three, two, one." 

Blair blinked several times. "Oh, man, that was so cool. I remember everything." 

"How are you feeling?" 

"I feel great. Thank you. When can we have another session?" 

Darien smiled at the enthusiastic man. "I would be happy to help you out again. I have a family thing tomorrow night, but I'll be back in town the day after that. How about we get together then?" 

"Yeah, great. We'll see you then. Thanks again." 

"You're welcome." 

Darien held out his hand to his buddy. "Jim, it was good to see you again." 

Jim shook it as he slapped Darien's arm. "Same here, Darien. Thanks for your help." 

* * *

The next morning Blair was at the University library researching the microfilm archives of the Seattle Daily Tribune. He found the newspaper dated June 12, 1947. Scanning the paper disclosed no interesting information regarding major crimes, or big trials. He continued searching each day's paper until the June 15th headline made Blair sit up straight and push his glasses firmly into place. 

FBI Agent Killed In Line of Duty 

Blair quickly skimmed the story, focused the screen carefully, and hit the photocopy button. Blair scanned the paper for the next day and each day thereafter. He was excited as the headlines danced before his eyes and the pile of papers quickly grew. He was a bit surprised at the swiftness of justice in the '40s. Erickson was tried, convicted, and executed within eighteen months of his arrest. So unlike today, he thought, when a death row inmate might languish through appeals for more than ten years. 

Law Enforcement World Grieves  
For One of Their Own 

Investigation Leads Home!  
Agent's Partner Under Suspicion 

Mafia Don Released for Lack of Evidence After Prosecution Witness Disappears 

Erickson Arrested for Sanders Murder 

Police Reveal Partner's Prints  
On Murder Weapon! 

Fed Trial Opens Today! 

Erickson Refuses to Testify in Own Defense 

Guilty Verdict Returned!  
Jury Out Only Forty-Five Minutes 

Erickson Gets Death Penalty 

Defendant Refuses Appeals 

Execution of Murderer Today! 

Blair was thrilled as he gathered the sheaf of paper and stuffed them into his backpack. He couldn't wait to get home and show Jim what he had found. Blair hurried to his car and headed to the loft, stopping at Antonio's for hot meatball subs and tossed salads for dinner. The partners conveniently arrived home at the same time. 

Jim's face lit up as he approached his lover, and he stood beside him as he grabbed the backpack and bag of food. "Hey, Chief, how did the investigation go at the library?" 

"Hello, Jim, you'll never believe what I found out. Wait until you see what I managed to dig up." Blair was practically bouncing in excitement. 

"Food, first, Chief, then I'm all yours." 

Blair grinned even wider. "Oh, man, promise?" 

Jim laughed as he ruffled his lover's hair. "It's a promise." It didn't take much to keep them happy, that's for sure, Jim reflected to himself. Food, sex, love, sex, affection, sex, hot showers, sex, anthro research, sex, police work, sex. Once inside, the ever-present backpack thudded to the floor next to the table within easy reach so that after dinner Blair could show Jim his findings. 

"Beer or Coke?" Jim called from the kitchen, as Blair set out plates, utensils and napkins. 

"Coke for me, thanks, Jim." 

Jim brought a couple of cans of soda to the table and they dug in hungrily, eating quietly for several minutes. When the meal was finished and the table cleared off, Blair pulled the papers he had eagerly stuffed into his pack earlier and spread them out. Jim came to stand behind Blair, wrapping his arms around his waist, and nuzzling the inviting ear. 

"So what's all this?" Jim asked through muffled lips as he kissed Blair's neck. 

Blair held up a copy of a picture from the newspaper that showed a man about Jim's age, same build and coloring. "Jim, look at this picture. Who does this look like to you?" 

As Jim scanned the picture, he noticed that the clothes and look were old fashioned, probably from the forties, he guessed. "He looks kind of a bit like me. Only I'm much better looking." 

Blair laughed. "I think he looks a lot like you. And look at this one, this guy looks a lot like me." Blair informed Jim as he held up another photocopy. 

"I can see a resemblance, but it's hard to tell. I can see his face, and yours is hidden behind all this hair." Jim ran his hands through Blair's hair, grabbing handfuls and watching as the silky strands slid between his fingers. 

"Come on, man, you know what I look like in short hair. I had to cut it for the police academy." 

"I like it this way much better." Jim nuzzled the back of Blair's neck to show just how much he liked it. 

"Jim, you're driving me crazy. Sit down, and read these articles. They are so interesting. A murder from fifty years ago and one FBI agent is executed for killing another. The guy was his partner, and he killed him." 

Jim sat and started scanning the newspaper articles. Jim riffled through the pages, reading bits and pieces. "Here, Blair, read this one." They exchanged pages several times. 

"Jim, you know what I noticed?" 

Jim never looked up. "Hum?" 

"These were all written by the same journalist. Lucy Carpenter. It must have been quite a feat for a woman to be a journalist back then. It was definitely a man's world. Women were supposed to write the society column, not about murders. Say, do you think she could still be alive? I would love to talk to her about the case. I'm going to do a net search." 

When Blair came back to the dining room table, Jim was still reading. "No luck on the net search, or should I say, too much luck. There are a zillion women named Lucy Carpenter. Luckily, I found the home page for the Seattle Tribune and e-mailed their human resources department, asking for information about her. I hope they can give me a lead on whether she is still alive." 

"Sounds good." Jim answered, still engrossed in the articles. 

Blair laughed. "Jim, you didn't hear a word I said. Say, do you or Simon happen to have any contacts at the local FBI office? Maybe you could try and find out if either of those agents are still alive." 

Jim's response consisted of "huummm?" 

"Oh, man, you are so funny. First you don't want anything to do with this, and now I couldn't drag you away from it if I wanted to." 

Jim definitely heard that last comment. He scooped up all the pages, tamping them into a neat pile. "Blair, you could drag me away quite easily, and tomorrow, I'll call a contact of mine at the Agency and ask him about the whereabouts of our two remaining agents, okay? I'll ask about the investigating officers, too." He chuckled at his lover, reaching out and grabbing Blair around the waist, pulling him closer. "It's pretty nice outside. What do you say we turn out all the lights, go out on the roof, and screw like bunnies for a couple of hours?" 

Blair grinned. "Now that sounds like an invitation I can't refuse. You look damned sexy by starlight." 

* * *

Jim crossed the bullpen and leaned down on the front of Blair's desk where he was typing. "Say, Chief, I've got news for you from my contact at the FBI." 

Blair glanced up as he removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "Oh, great. I need a break. I've almost got the Thompson robbery report done, and I finished both the Safeway chemical accident and the Ramsey kidnapping reports." 

"Thanks, buddy, you're a godsend. Do you know that because of you, we have the best record in the precinct for filing legible paperwork? I owe you big time." 

Blair smiled at his partner. "Remind me to collect on that debt when we're home later." He passed the two finished reports to Jim. "You might as well run these in to Simon. Hey, Jim, I received a reply to my e-mail about Lucy Carpenter. Guess what? Not only is she still alive, she's living right here in Cascade. She's at Maple Crest Assisted Living over on Maple Crest Avenue." 

Blair paused, so Jim took the bait. "And?" 

Blair was excited. "Guess what? I called over there and spoke with her, and she's agreed to meet with us this afternoon." 

"Chief, guess what?" 

"What?" 

"Nothing. It just drives me crazy when you say, guess what, and then you never give me a chance to guess what." 

"Jiimmm." Blair whined and Jim laughed. 

"What time are we meeting the lady?" 

"Oh, thanks, man. I'm glad you don't mind going with me. She said any time before 5:30. After that, she said she has her supper and tonight is her favorite television program." 

"Blair, I told you last night I was interested. It would be helpful if we talk to the people who were actually involved in the case. The fact that these two guys were partners, and one killed the other and was executed for his crime, is interesting. I would like to know more about it, just like you do." 

Blair smiled at his partner. "I really want to look into this. Thanks for believing me on this one. I need your help, you know." 

"It's okay, Chief. That's what partners are for. Besides, I kind of like working with you." Jim teased. 

Blair bounced on the balls of his feet, grinning. "Thanks, Jim, this is just great. Say, Jim, guess what?" Blair stopped and waited. 

Jim watched Blair and waited. "What?" 

"I thought you wanted to guess." Blair said innocently. 

"Wanted to guess what?" 

"Exactly." Blair quipped. 

"So, what?" Jim said testily. 

"No, not so what, guess what?" 

Jim came around the desk and clamped one hand behind Blair's head and the other over his mouth. "Now I know why that FBI agent killed his partner. His partner drove him insane with his mindless rambling. Insanity is a legal defense for murder in this state, you know. And I can guarantee you that everyone in this room will testify on my behalf when I plead insanity after I bump you off." 

"Jim, threatening a police officer is a crime in this state. Now before you so rudely interrupted me from my important task of typing up the Thompson report, you made mention of the fact that you heard from your buddy at the FBI." 

Jim smacked Blair playfully on the side of his head as he chuckled. "The good news is that he was able to locate both men. The bad news is that both of them have been dead for more than ten years. The two lead investigators in the case were in their forties back then. They are long gone. I can get a copy of the file, but I doubt that there is much in it we can use." 

"I guess that means we will have to hope that Lucy Carpenter remembers some details that aren't in the newspaper articles she wrote. I think we should head over there now before it gets too late. We don't want to interrupt her dinner or her television viewing." 

"I'm ready whenever you are, Chief." 

* * *

After a 20-minute drive, Jim and Blair arrived at the Maple Crest Assisted Living complex. A friendly receptionist directed the men to a waiting room while she called Lucy Carpenter to inform her that she had visitors. In just a few minutes, a petite elderly woman walked in the room and stopped just inside the doorway surveying her visitors. They had the feeling that she was sizing them up and both men rose as she crossed the room. 

"Gentlemen, I'm Lucy Carpenter." They must have passed inspection because her silver hair bounced and her bright blue eyes smiled as she held out her hand to the partners. 

"Hello, I'm Blair Sandburg and this is my partner, Jim Ellison. We're police officers with the Cascade PD. I'm the one who called you asking for this meeting. Thank you for agreeing to meet with us." Blair smiled and held out his hand, which Lucy grasped quite firmly. Jim also shook hands; he immediately liked her confident manner. 

"Please sit down and tell me what I can do for you. You said on the phone, Mr. Sandburg, that you were interested in my experiences as a journalist when I worked for the Seattle Daily Tribune." 

"Yes, I'm doing some research and I am specifically interested in your coverage of the Erickson murder trial. I've photocopied all your articles about the case." Blair pulled the stack of pages from the manila folder he was carrying, handing them to Lucy. "I was wondering if I could ask you some questions about the case." 

Lucy took the papers and thumbed through them. "You certainly were thorough. I think you have all of the reports I wrote. I haven't seen these for many years. I worked for the paper from l945 until 1952. I left my job to become a housewife and raise a family. But I loved newspaper work. Never went back to it, though." 

Jim asked, "From your articles, I see that you had a chance to meet and get to know John Erickson personally." 

"Why, yes, I did. During the course of the trial, my editor arranged a series of interviews with him. I came to find out that Erickson had followed my coverage of the arrest and trial from the beginning. I met with him during the course of the trial and on the day of his execution." Her voice became very quiet. "I witnessed the execution. Erickson himself asked that I attend. Of course, I was interested as a journalist, but I was frightened, too. I didn't think that I was ready to witness something like that, but I couldn't let the opportunity to speak with Erickson pass by. The execution was carried out on schedule. While I was in the viewing room of the gas chamber, I couldn't bring myself to watch the events, but I heard the procedure, of course, and stayed until he was pronounced dead by the coroner." 

Jim had a question that had been bothering him since he had first read the newspaper accounts. "Why did he refuse any appeals?" 

"Oh, that is a hard one to answer. I don't mean difficult explaining, I mean difficult accepting. He told me that he was ready to die. He said he had no reason to live now that his partner was dead." 

Blair's next question surprised Jim. "Do you believe that John Erickson killed his partner?" 

Lucy shook her head as she spoke. "At first, when he told me he was innocent, I figured he was like every other man on death row. No one ever admits that they're guilty. Did John Erickson kill his partner, Mr. Sandburg? When I looked into his eyes, I believed him when he said that he did not do it." Lucy raised her hand. "Don't ask me why. It was just a hunch, as you policemen say. Just something about what he said and how he said it. I had a feeling then and I still believe it now, that there was something more between Erickson and Sanders than just a police partnership or friendship. You can call it woman's intuition, but a woman can tell when a man is in love, and Erickson was in love. I believe he loved his partner and would never have hurt him." 

Blair made a few quick notes. "Thank you for your time. You've been very helpful." 

"Yes, thank you for speaking with us, Mrs. Carpenter. We appreciate your cooperation." 

Lucy stood and the men rose, also. She looked closely at Blair and then turned to scrutinize Jim. "I know this is going to sound quite silly, but just for a second, I had one of those dj vu feelings when I first walked into the room. Do you both believe in fate? Maybe the two of you are supposed to right the wrong that happened those many years ago. There's a very good reason that you both have become involved in this case. I don't think it's just chance." Lucy laughed pleasantly. "Call it another hunch." 

Jim chuckled as he extended his hand. "Thank you, Ma'am. We appreciate your help." 

Lucy shook Jim's hand, and then Blair's, as he said, "Thank you so much. It's been a pleasure." 

She squeezed Blair's hand. "Good luck to you both. Good night, gentlemen." 

* * *

On the truck ride towards the loft, both men were quiet for a while, reflecting. Blair was thoughtful when he finally spoke. "What happens if Erickson really was innocent? I think he should be vindicated. He might have family that believes their grandfather or uncle or brother was guilty of betraying his partner and murdering him. It's up to us to clear this up." 

"Blair, don't jump the gun here. We don't know for sure if he was innocent. He was proven guilty in a court of law, and that law executed him for his crime. Even if he were innocent, we might never be able to prove it. You remember what the newspaper said. His prints were found on the gun, which, by the way, was his very own gun." Jim glanced quickly at Blair as he navigated the busy street. "A large sum of money was found in his apartment. How much was it?" 

"Twenty-five thousand dollars, in cash," Blair said. 

"Right. Twenty-five grand. He couldn't account for the money; said he had no idea where it came from. So, the witness is now gone, presumably dead, as he is never seen again. A witness against a mobster accused of racketeering, fraud, income tax evasion, and loan sharking, among other things. So the mob pays off Erickson to kill his partner as a distraction for someone to nab the witness and dispose of him permanently. The newspaper said that the mobster was never brought to trial, remember?" 

"Yes, all that's true. You have the facts straight, at least as far as we know them. But why would he commit the murder in the house where the other agents were present? Why not just take the witness away and kill him, so he didn't have to kill his partner and still get the money? Why not drug them somehow to put them out of commission and kill the witness? Why kill his partner?" 

"Maybe he was planning on doing that. Maybe something happened between John and Brent. John let it slip somehow about what was going to happen. Maybe he wanted Brent to go along with him, share the money since they were partners. Brent objected. They got into an argument, and bam! Brent's dead. Maybe John didn't actually mean to kill his partner. It could have been a terrible accident during a fight." 

Blair shook his head adamantly. "I don't buy it. You just can't convince me that John killed his partner, accidentally or otherwise." 

"Blair, I'm just trying to see all the angles here." Jim pulled into a parking space in front of the loft and turned to face his partner. 

Blair slid closer to Jim. "Jim, you know that there is a reason we've been drawn to this. It's not luck; it's Karma, man. You're the Sentinel. Remember what happened with Molly Charles. We solved a forty-year-old case. We can do this, Jim, I just know we can." 

Jim sat silently for a minute before he spoke. "I feel compelled to do this, too. I don't know if it's related to my senses or not, but something is tugging at me and I know enough to go with it. If you've taught me anything after all these years, it's what happens if I try to fight or ignore my instincts. So, what's next? We should approach this just like any other investigation, but finding witnesses from that far back is going to be next to impossible. The main players are dead." Jim opened the door of the truck and slid out, grabbing Blair's hand and pulling him out behind him. 

As they made their way up the stairs to the loft, Blair spoke. "Well, let's consider the easiest thing to do right now, which is probably for me to be hypnotized again and get more information. We need something solid that will prove that John didn't kill Brent." 

"That is one thing we could consider doing." 

"And there's another thing that we could consider doing." Blair grinned at his partner. 

Jim eyed him closely as they shrugged off jackets and hung them beside the door. "And why do I get the feeling that I might not like this idea?" 

Blair continued grinning. He saw Jim's serious look, so he valiantly tried to be serious himself, but he couldn't help smiling. "Well, Jim, promise you'll hear me out before you hit me." 

"Chief, I'm not going to hit you." Jim opened the refrigerator and fished out two beers as Blair found ingredients for spaghetti. 

"I meant that metaphorically." Blair smiled. He stopped and took a deep breath and huffed it out. . "Jim, I think you should be hypnotized so you can verify the information we have regarding Grant's guilt. You want mushroom sauce or extra chunky sauce on your pasta?" 

Jim laughed loudly. "Blair, you're the one who's going to need the insanity defense here, because you sure are nuts. I'm in the mood for mushrooms." Jim continued to chuckle even though his partner gave him his best glare. Jim held up his hands, laughing. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh. But really, why in the hell would you think that I need to be hypnotized?" 

Blair was very solemn as he prepared a loaf of garlic bread to toast in the oven. "There's something else I've been wanting to tell you. I just wasn't sure how to do it, so I'm just going to say it. The reason I think you should be hypnotized is because you were there with me. I saw you. We were both alive and together back then." 

Jim leaned on the counter, watching Blair cook. The look on his face stopped Jim's laughter. "Say, Blair, you really believe that, don't you?" 

"Yes, I do. I remember everything I saw and I saw us. You can deny it if you want to, but I know what I saw." Blair slid the baking sheet into the oven and dropped several handfuls of spaghetti into the boiling water. "You saw the photographs from the newspaper. You and I were there, back then, together." Blair repeated. 

Jim stood quietly for a few minutes before he reached over and took Blair's hand. "Chief, I believe in you, and if you really do believe that we were together in another life, well, then I have to say that I'm willing to keep an open mind about all of this. Why didn't you tell me this before?" 

Blair looked at Jim seriously. "Think about it, Jim. You were having enough trouble accepting that I might have lived a past life. You have to admit you weren't too happy about the whole thing. I just didn't want to add more fuel to the fire, so to speak. I appreciate the fact that you were willing to help with the investigation, and I was trying to find a good way to sort of slip this information in at the right moment. I've been dying to tell you since I first realized it, it's just that..." Blair stopped and shrugged. 

"Geez, Blair, you don't have to worry about telling me anything. Even if it is some supernatural, psychic, out of this world thing." Jim grinned. "The worst I can think is that you're crazy, but hell, I already know that." 

Blair grinned and bounced on his toes. "Say, Jim, do you know what this means? You and I are destined to be together, now and always. We've probably been together for eternity through many lives." 

"You know how hard it is for me to accept this kind of thing, don't you?" 

"Yes, Jim, I do know, but think about it. It's our Karma. We love each other. Nothing can change that. In each life, we always manage to find each other." 

Jim looked puzzled. "Wait, so you don't believe that we're reincarnated into ants or rats or dogs?" 

"No, Jim, I believe a person always comes back as a person, not an animal." Blair drained the pasta into a colander while Jim fetched two more beers from the fridge. 

"But why?" 

"Why, what?" 

"I thought the concept was that if you are evil in one life, someone gets to be evil to you in the next. You know, divine retribution. If you kill someone in a past life, you are killed in the next one, and so on." 

Blair nodded earnestly. "I think that's right. And our Karma is to be together. Since someone killed John, and separated John and Brent, it's also our Karma to put the wrong to right. John and Brent were meant to be together. They need to be vindicated. We need to prove John didn't kill Brent." 

"So, let me get this straight. I've lived another life with you as my partner. Things were going along okay until this last life, when something happened to split up John and Brent. So now what?" Jim took the plates onto which Blair had heaped spaghetti to the table, while Blair followed with a basket of warm garlic bread and silverware. 

Blair smiled and shrugged. "That's why I think you should be hypnotized. You were there. You know who the killer is also. Your perspective will be different from mine. Maybe after that, we can approach Grant and see if we can get a confession. That's the only thing that would hold up after all this time." 

Jim ate and thought. "So you want to ask Darien to hypnotize you and me?" 

Blair smiled. "No. I want Darien to hypnotize me, but I don't want him within ten feet of you and your senses. So, if you agree, I would hypnotize you. You want more spaghetti?" Blair asked, seeing Jim's empty plate. 

Jim laughed and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right, you would do it. I'll have another helping, thanks." Jim followed Blair out into the kitchen where Blair set the plates on the counter and turned to Jim, his arms crossed. 

"You have no faith in me, do you?" Blair asked quietly. 

"This is not a matter of faith. And, of course, I have faith in you. A lot of faith and trust, too. What makes you think you can hypnotize me anyway?" Jim tugged at Blair's arms until Blair relented. Jim pulled him into his arms and kissed his forehead. 

Blair grinned at his lover. "I figure since I'm your Guide and I can already guide you through a vision, that guiding you into hypnosis isn't that much different." 

Jim kissed the end of Blair's nose. "Yeah, you have a point there. I guess it isn't that much different. So, when do you want to try it? You always are trying to get me to take these trips with you, aren't you, Chief?" 

Blair smiled. "I'm willing to take any trips with you whenever necessary, Jim. Let's take this one step at a time. First, we have Darien hypnotize me and see where that leads us. Then we'll think about you and I taking that little trip together." 

"Okay, Chief, it's your show. You lead and I'll follow. I'll call Darien and arrange for another session tomorrow." Jim grinned at his partner. "Now how about some more of that spaghetti? I'm still hungry and I need to keep up my strength for later." 

Blair cast a questioning glance at his lover while he dished out seconds of spaghetti. "What's going to happen later?" Blair asked expectantly. 

"Oh, you'll find out. It's a surprise. Just let me say that I've had this fantasy that I've been dying to try. It involves you and me and being naked and...Well, you'll find out later." 

* * *

The next hypnosis session with Darien proceeded like the first, with the same instructions as before regarding the hallway, the door, and Blair's participation as a narrator only. "Blair, after you step through the door, let's travel to the day of the murder. It is just prior to the murder. What are the men doing?" 

Blair paused for a minute before he started speaking. "Art and George are in the kitchen fixing dinner. Art checks on the witness, who is in the bedroom. Art returns to the kitchen and tells George that the witness is sleeping. John and Brent are in the living room, playing gin rummy. They are talking and laughing quietly. John just won a buck from Brent and he's gloating about it. John gets up and looks out the windows, checking the yard. He comes back over to the sofa and tells Brent that he's going to go out and make a sweep. Brent tells John that he'll cover his back. John smiles and nods at Brent." 

Blair sighed softly, and continued. "The men go out the front door after John yells back to the other two agents that they are going out to check the perimeter. John locks the door with a key. It is dusk and things are in shadows. There are bushes and trees all around the house. It's very quiet. The nearest house is a hundred feet away and there are no lights on. There are woods at the back of the house. The men are walking around the house, checking the bushes." Blair paused again. 

"Then they are back at the front door, which John unlocks. Brent walks into the room first. He crosses the room to the sofa and reaches out to turn on a lamp on the end table. As the light comes on, he hears a thud. He jumps and turns around. John is lying on the floor and there is a man standing over him. The man at the door has a gun, and it's pointed at Brent." Blair's breathing and respiration started to rise, and he was sweating as a shiver ran through his body. 

Jim met Darien's eyes. "Something's wrong." 

"Let me try to quiet things down. Blair, remember my instructions, you are an observer, not a participant. Take a deep breath in and out and relax." Darien waited until Blair's reactions calmed. "Blair, you are watching the man point a gun at Brent. Then what happened?" 

"The man shoots, then he goes over to Brent's body and lays the gun at his side. He's wearing gloves. He flees out the door. I can hear him lock the door from the other side. John moans and opens his eyes. He rubs the back of his head, and then he pushes himself to his hands and knees. He looks around and sees Brent's body. "No!" he cries out as he crawls to his partner's side. He picks up the gun, holds it in his hand without even thinking about it. He touches Brent's face. He gathers Brent's body in his arms, hugging him tightly and he's crying. 

"The other two agents run in from the kitchen. They had stopped to check on the witness before they ran to the front of the house. They heard the shot and figured someone was trying to get to the witness. After seeing that the witness is safe, they run into the living room. They see Brent has been shot and John is covered in blood. George yells at Art to go stay with the witness as he crosses the room to the phone, calling for help. Art comes bursting back into the room, shouting that the witness is gone. George starts cursing and goes over to John's side." 

Blair stopped for a long minute before continuing. "George uses a handkerchief and takes the gun from John. He looks closely at the gun and then asks John about his weapon. John looks as if he doesn't understand the question, so George asks him again. John gently lays Brent's body down and pulls back his jacket, looking at his shoulder-holster, which is empty. George kneels down beside John and asks him what happened. John shakes his head and tells him that he doesn't know. George is silent, looking from John to Brent. George's hand is shaking as he grabs John's arm. He asks John if he shot his partner. John is crying. He tells George over and over that he didn't do it." 

By now, Blair's voice was quiet and tired. Jim could tell he was exhausted and ready to collapse. Even the suggestion that he was just the narrator was beginning to disintegrate. Jim caught Darien's attention. "Darien, only one more question, and then we need to bring him out. Ask him if he can identify the killer." 

"Okay, Jim," Darien nodded. Then he spoke to Blair quietly. "Blair, take a deep breath and relax for me. Now, I want you to look at the killer's face and tell me, if you saw this man again, could you identify him?" 

Blair breathed in sharply and his body became rigid as he whispered hoarsely, "I know him. I know him. I know him." His eyes filled with tears. Jim grabbed Blair's arms as he started to fold and Darien put his hands on Blair's face. 

Darien's voice was firm. "Blair, listen to me. When I count back from three, you will wake up. Three, two, one." 

Blair's eyes blinked several times as a small sob escaped his lips. Jim pulled him into his arms. "Chief?" Jim gently stroked Blair's face. "Come on, Blair, talk to me." 

Blair trembled slightly. "I'm here, Jim." 

Jim hugged him tightly and waited patiently, listening to his body as Blair slowly regained his composure, and until his breathing and respiration were steady. 

Darien hovered behind the partners. "Is he okay, Jim?" 

"Yeah, he's just exhausted. I need to get him home." 

On the drive home, Blair tiredly put his head against Jim's shoulder and dozed. The hypnosis had taken a mental toll on him, and it physically manifested into fatigue. Once they had arrived at their building, Jim had to keep his arms around Blair's waist as they made their way to the elevator that was thankfully working for a change, or he would have had to carry Blair up the steps. Jim manhandled him up to the bedroom and out of his clothes, then he pulled back the covers and gently lay him down. Jim ran his hand over Blair's curly head and kissed his cheek. Any discussion of the evening's events would certainly have to wait until morning. 

* * *

When morning arrived, it was cold, rainy and dark. Jim lay for a long while watching the rain hitting the skylight. The stormy, oppressive weather mirrored his attitude perfectly. He knew what he needed to feel better. He relished the feel of his lover curled up next to him. Blair's arms were wrapped around one of Jim's, anchoring himself with Jim's touch. Jim snuffled his face into the crook of Blair's neck, kissing him softly. Blair stirred and sighed, pulling Jim's hand to his lips and kissing his fingers. 

"Morning, Jim." 

"Umm," Jim replied, tasting the soft skin behind Blair's ear. Blair giggled lightly. Jim loved when Blair giggled. When he laughed, it was deep, but when he giggled, he sounded like a kid. 

Blair rolled over and slid an arm around Jim's neck, smiling at his lover. Jim smiled back and pulled him close, chests touching, dicks touching, lips touching. They kissed passionately and longingly. Tongues explored and hands caressed. Soft words were exchanged and bodies rubbed until orgasms rushed forward towards each other. More kisses and caresses were exchanged. 

They lay quiet and content for a long while before Jim finally spoke. "Blair, are you feeling okay after yesterday?" 

"Yes, Jim, I feel fine. I always feel good when I'm with you." 

"We have to talk, you know." 

Blair shivered. Jim pulled him close. 

"You remember everything?" Jim asked quietly. 

"Yes." 

"Do you think you can identify him?" 

"Yes." 

"I'm going to have to pull the words out of your mouth this morning, aren't I?" 

"Yes." 

Jim smiled tenderly at his lover. "You know, Chief, I've always wanted to say this to you, so now's my big chance. You aren't being too verbal here, are you?" 

Blair finally had to smile. "Okay, okay, but now you know how frustrating you can be sometimes when you won't talk to me." Blair's eyes met Jim's. "So go ahead, Jim, and ask me the most important question." 

"Are you going to tell me who the killer is?" 

Blair nodded. "Yes, but I need you to promise that it will be just between the two of us until we figure out this whole mess." 

"Okay. I promise." 

"It's Grant Sessions." 

"Now why in the hell does that not surprise me?" Jim asked, sitting up and running his hand through his messy hair. "You said that first night in the bar that Grant was a murderer." 

Blair sat up and looked at him. "But we have absolutely no proof. I don't think anyone is going to believe me. I don't think you can accuse someone because of a hypnotic suggestion." 

"Blair, this really complicates everything. What are we going to do? How do we prove it?" 

"We have to get a confession from Grant. That's the only thing that would hold up after all this time." 

Jim snorted. "A confession? Why do I get the feeling that he isn't going to up and confess to a murder from fifty years ago? You know Chief, now everything is starting to make sense. That's why my senses went wacko when I met the man. That's why you went ballistic, too. He killed you. But that opens up a whole other aspect. Why could I sense danger from him? It was leftover from fifty years ago, from a time before I was born and on a person I had never met before. I find that incredibly hard to believe." 

"Jim, think again. If this is true, you have met him before and you were born, just back in another life. Your reaction to him is perfectly natural, give or take a lifetime or two." Blair tugged on Jim's arm. "Oh, God, Jim, what about Simon? We can't do this to Simon. But we can't ignore it, either. Damn it, this sucks!" 

Jim shook his head. "Geez, Blair, Simon will have to be told. If we can prove it, as bad as it's going to be, Simon deserves to know the truth about Grant. Ignoring this feels wrong. Grant has to confess." Jim grabbed Blair's shoulders. "Hey, buddy, think about this. He didn't just kill Brent; he's also responsible for John's death. He killed both Brent and John. Both men are dead because of Grant, so he really killed both of us." Jim stopped and smiled. "Hell, I said 'us'. Oh, man, you have me thinking like you now, Blair." 

Blair grinned. "I knew I would rub off on you eventually." 

Jim smiled at his lover. "You can rub off on me any time you like, you tease." 

"Jim! I was just making an observation." 

"Yeah, right. Come on, get your ass out of bed. We have to go to work, and it seems because of you and your trouble-making ways, we have a case to solve. A damned fifty-year-old case involving your murder and my execution. I know I'm going to regret asking this, but when do you want to try it?" 

Blair stood and put his hands on Jim's hips. "Are you sure, Jim? You can't even say it, can you?" 

Jim chuckled as he slid his arms around Blair's waist. "Yes, smart mouth, I can say it. When do you want to hypnotize me?" 

"Tonight." Blair slid his hand behind Jim's head and pulled him into a gentle kiss. "Thanks, Jim, for believing in me." 

Jim grinned and kissed Blair's forehead "I'll always believe in you, Chief. Tonight we'll do it." Jim laughed out loud. "Great, now I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am certifiable. Maybe they'll give us adjoining rooms at the asylum." 

* * *

The loft was cool and dimly lit, casting the partners in shadows. Blair lit a single candle and placed it in front of Jim, who sat at the dining room table. Blair sat directly across from Jim and leaned on his forearms. "Okay, Jim. Let's go over the ground rules. I'm going to do basically what Darien did to me to put you under. All right?" 

"Wait, Blair. I don't want to be an observer. I want you to just put me under and let me be myself in the past life. Do you think that's possible?" 

"Well, yes. I think that's possible. But it may be extremely emotional. Are you sure you want to put yourself through that?" 

Jim was adamant when he answered, "I want to feel for myself what happened. I'm pretty sure I can handle it, but it's how I want to do it anyway." 

"Okay, Jim, okay. You ready?" 

Jim licked his dry lips as their eyes met. "Yes. Let's do it." 

Blair took a quick, cleansing breath. "Jim, I want you to stare at the candle flame. Breathe in and release. Again. Good. Now as you watch the candle, your body will relax and you will close your eyes. Picture yourself walking down a long hallway. At the end of the hallway is a door. Each step you take puts you into a deeper state of hypnosis. Do you see the door, Jim?" 

Jim was relaxed and his eyes were closed. His breathing was soft and regular. "Yes." 

"When you open the door, you will be in the room of the safe house the night of Brent Sanders' murder. Brent and John are just coming in from making their sweep. I want you to feel, hear, and see everything that is happening. Open the door, Jim, and walk through. Tell me what's happening." 

Jim's voice was calm as he spoke. "My partner and I just finished making a sweep outside. Everything's quiet. John unlocks the door and it swings open. I enter first. The room is dark, so I cross the room to turn on a light." 

Blair held his breath. It worked! "Go on, tell me what happens next." 

Jim's face was flushed and he started sweating. "You bastard!" Jim yelled harshly. His face suddenly drained of color and he stopped breathing. Blair leapt from the chair and he came around the table, grabbing Jim's face between his hands, looking in Jim's open, unfocused eyes. 

"Come on, Jim, breathe. Jim, focus on my voice. Listen to me. You can wake up now." When Jim failed to react, Blair tried again. "Damn it, Jim. Listen to the sound of my voice. When I count back from three, you will wake up. Three, two, one." 

Jim started to collapse. Blair wrapped his arms around him as he slid from the chair. Blair breathed deeply in and out several times to calm himself. He knew instinctively that Jim was caught in the vision and that he had to lead him out before it was too late and Jim suffocated. He put his hands on either side of Jim's face and talked to himself quietly. "Focus. Follow Jim. You can do this. Jim needs you. Follow him. Concentrate. Follow Jim..." 

* * *

Blair's eyesight was unfocused, fuzzy. He blinked and rubbed his eyes with his fingertips to clear them. His head was aching and he realized he was lying on the floor. He saw his "partner" lying on the floor also. "No!" Blair screamed as he crawled over to Jim's side to try and stop the flow of blood. He had a bullet hole in his chest, and the blood trailed down his body in a dark, red line. Blair gathered Jim into his arms, pressing his hand over his heart. Blair raised a bloody hand to the side of Jim's face, touching him gently. 

Blair closed his eyes. "Jim, listen to me. Follow my voice. You can do this. Come with me, Jim. I need you. Come with me. Follow my voice. Here, take my hand. I love you. Come on, Jim, follow me." 

* * *

Blair came around first and he looked at his partner who lay pale and motionless in his arms, but when he put his hand to Jim's chest, he could feel it rise and fall with each breath, and his heart beat steadily under Blair's fingers. Blair pulled Jim close to him, resting Jim's head under his chin as he caressed his hair and face. Blair whispered to his lover as he planted a soft kiss on his forehead. "Jim, wake up for me. Come on, you can do it." 

Jim stirred and his eyes fluttered. 

"Oh, God, Jim, please say something." 

Finally, crystal blue eyes met dusky blue ones. "Hey, Chief." Jim whispered hoarsely. "That was some trip." 

Blair hugged him even tighter. "Man, you scared the crap out of me. How do you feel?" 

Jim paused before he spoke. "Actually, I feel pretty good now. For a minute there, I thought I was dead." Jim looked around, finally realizing he was on the floor. "Help me up, Blair, my legs are a bit shaky." 

Blair helped Jim to the sofa where he sagged into the cushions and threw back his head, closing his eyes. Blair sat close and rubbed his arm. "You're going to have to tell me what happened. What did you see?" 

Jim sighed tiredly and kept his eyes closed as he pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "It wasn't so much what I saw, it was what I felt." 

Blair encouraged him quietly. "Come on, Jim, what did you feel?" Blair stroked the back of Jim's hand with his fingers. 

Jim looked at Blair seriously. "I felt the murder. Blair, I was the one murdered. He killed me. I felt it. I felt the bullet hit me and I felt my body die." 

"My God, Jim! That's why you stopped breathing. You're Brent. Which means that I'm John." 

"Yeah. But is that possible? What about the photographs we saw from the newspaper? I thought you looked like Brent and I looked like John. What about all that Karma stuff we talked about? How could I be someone else in another life?" 

"Jim, your soul is what's reincarnated, not your body. Your soul doesn't care which body it inhabits. It doesn't even care which gender it ends up in. When John and Brent were separated, something happened to the lifelines. You and I came back, or is it forward, to fix things." 

"You mean we switched bodies?" 

"Well, not the same bodies, obviously, but fate has certainly decided that things need to be put right." 

"Why?" 

Blair shrugged. "Hey, it's just a Karma thing. Man, you couldn't possibly have the same body in every life." 

Jim looked at Blair closely. "You mean it's possible that I might have been a woman in a previous life?" 

"Yes. And I might have been one, also. Your soul doesn't cares which gender it is when it's reincarnated. And I think that you carry the lessons you learn from one life to the next too. That is, if you learn any lessons. If not, you get to keep trying until you get it right." Blair smiled at Jim. "Come on, it's late. You look really tired after that little escapade. And we should be rested when we approach our prime suspect tomorrow, don't you think?" 

Jim smirked. "Why do I have a feeling that he's not going to up and confess when we present him with our 'evidence'?" Jim sighed. "You're right though, I am tired. Let's go to bed. Maybe in the morning we'll have some idea on just how to convince Sessions to confess to his crimes." 

* * *

Blair smacked his hand on the steering wheel of the Volvo hard enough to shake the small vehicle. "Damn it, that was a total waste of time." 

Jim shook his head in disgust. "I guess I still had that glimmer of hope that it might work, after all." 

"You know he was lying through his teeth." 

Jim chuckled quietly. "I kind of sensed that, Chief." 

Blair glared at Jim. "Real funny. Just what the hell are we going to do now? I mean, he's denied everything. He was so, I don't know, smug, about the entire thing." 

Jim put a hand on Blair's shoulder. "He was right about one thing, Blair, that we have absolutely no proof of his guilt." 

"Yeah, I know." Blair sighed heavily and threw back his head, watching Jim from under long lashes. "What was that bit you mentioned to Grant, telling him that we were going straight to Simon and lay out the whole story about all of this?" 

Jim shrugged. "Hell, Blair, I thought it was worth a try. I thought if he cared enough about Simon, he might consider Simon's feelings in all of this and decide that it was time to come forward. But if you're asking me if I was bluffing, the answers are yes and no. Just because I don't want to drag Simon into this mess, I have no problem telling Simon about the bastard. Simon deserves our compassion and friendship. Sessions doesn't." 

Blair nodded tiredly. "You're right about that. Simon is the one caught in the middle of all of this." Blair sat silently before he spoke again. "Say Jim, are you feeling okay after being around him?" 

"I feel all right. He sends my senses haywire, that's for sure, but I've got it under control. Blair, you and I know he's guilty. I just don't know what we can possibly do about it. He's had fifty years of practice hiding the truth." 

Blair nodded. "That's for sure, and he's damned good at it. Jim, just what are we going to do now?" 

Jim shook his head. "We don't have much choice. We'll have to let it go." 

"Oh, man, that is so wrong. We have to do something." Blair started the car and glanced over his shoulder before pulling into traffic. "There has to be something we can do," he muttered to himself. 

Jim squeezed his arm lightly. "We've done everything we can for now. You know if there was anything else left, we would follow it up. But remember what you told me about Karma and everything?" 

"Yeah, Jim, I remember. Divine retribution. It pisses me off that we can't do anything, but thank God for divine retribution. His past will catch up with him, I know it will, maybe not in this life, but surely in the next one." 

Jim smiled as he laid his hand on Blair's shoulder. "Last week I would have never believed any of this, but you've convinced me. Let's face it, Blair, there are only three people who know he is guilty. You, Sessions himself, and me. Everyone else involved in the case is dead. There just aren't any more leads. What else can we possibly do? We've reached the end of the investigation." 

Blair nodded as he glanced at his lover. "You're right. But, damn it anyway, I'm just having a hard time letting go of something like this. I was sure we were going to put things right." 

"I wasn't as convinced as you were that we could do it, but I was willing to give it a try. I think we gave it a hell of a good try. So my suggestion now is that we have some faith and leave the retribution to divine forces." 

Blair scowled. "I think this sucks! But I also think you're probably right." Blair sighed. "Okay, Jim. I guess about the only thing we have left is faith." Blair drove quietly for several blocks before he spoke. "I don't know about you, but I'm kind of depressed now that it's all over. I like to think that the good guys always win." 

"Yeah, me, too. But in the end, the good guys do win. We might not witness it, but it will happen." Jim smiled at his mate as he rubbed Blair's shoulder. Jim sensed that Blair needed to be comforted after the big let down. "Let's go home." 

Blair returned his lover's smile, knowing instinctively that Jim needed some quiet time with him to center his senses after the disappointing experience that they had had. "You know, being with you is the only thing that makes all this worthwhile. Let's go home." 

* * *

Early the next morning, the shrill ring of the telephone had Jim cursing as he searched for it under a pile of Blair's dirty clothes, and Blair groaning at the interruption of his sleep as he burrowed deeper under the covers. 

"Ellison." Jim said, then listened. 

"Why, Captain? What's happened?" Jim asked. Blair's head came up from under the blankets and he cast a questioning glance at Jim. Jim shrugged and listened again. "Right. We'll be there in thirty minutes." 

He disconnected and looked at Blair. "Simon's at Cascade Memorial. Apparently, Grant Sessions suffered a heart attack. And get this, he was the airport leaving the country. Simon says that it's not looking very good right now. He's stable, but his prognosis for future episodes is poor. He's suffered some sort of heart damage." 

Blair sat up quickly. "And..." 

"And Simon says that since he's been allowed to see Grant, Grant's been agitated and belligerent one minute, telling Simon how much he needs Simon to stand by him and believe in him. Simon says Grant then started crying and saying how sorry he is about you and I in the next breath. Simon doesn't know what to make of all of it, and he wants us to come to the hospital and tell him what's going on." 

Blair looked at Jim wide-eyed. "Oh, my God. You don't think he's going to confess, do you?" 

Jim cocked his head. "You know what, Chief? I think it's time for that divine retribution." 

* * *

Simon was standing in the hospital corridor outside of Grant's room when Jim and Blair arrived. 

"Hey, Captain." Blair said. 

"Simon." Jim nodded at his friend. 

Simon did not look happy. "What is going on between you two and Grant? He's absolutely out of control. The doctor has had to give him a sedative. I want to hear this now." 

Blair stood silently while Jim asked, "What does Sessions say about all of this?" 

Simon gritted his teeth. "What the hell is all of this, exactly? I want to know what's going on." 

Jim sighed. "Simon, I think Grant needs to tell you. I think you need to hear it straight from him, not from us." 

"So you admit that there's something going on here?" Simon demanded. 

Blair spoke, "Please, Captain, Jim's right. What Grant has to say has to come from him. Let's just see if he's willing and able to talk." 

Simon shook his head. "I don't like this one bit, but he's calmer now, so let's try it. I'll try anything to get to the bottom of this, whatever 'this' is." 

* * *

Jim stood at the window of Grant's hospital room; Blair sat in one chair and Simon in the other. Grant was leaning back against the pillows, looking pale and drawn. 

Grant cleared his throat and spoke in a weak voice. "I've decided that it's time for me to confess to the murders of Brent Sanders and John Erickson." 

Simon rose quickly. "What the hell are you talking about?" 

Grant did not look at his protg as he spoke. "Simon, please sit down and listen to me. I want to tell you this quickly and get it over with. I've waited a long time and I need to do this. I know I'm dying, and my guilty conscience and fear of death have forced me to do this. When I was an agent with the Seattle Bureau in l947, I murdered another agent named Brent Sanders. I planted evidence incriminating his partner, John Erickson. John Erickson was executed for his supposed crime. I am responsible for both deaths. I watched Sanders die, and I watched Erickson die." Grant glanced at Simon before quickly looking away. 

Simon's eyebrows twitched in surprise at this startling revelation. Grant noticed "Your question, Simon, is why did I do it? I don't think my motives are relevant. I'm willing to confess. In fact, I'm more than willing, I insist on confessing." 

Simon towered over the bed. "I think you owe me an explanation, Grant. We've been friends for a long time." Simon said tersely. 

Grant sighed and shook his head. "I'm sorry, Simon. I can only apologize and admit that I'm guilty. You don't have the right to ask me for any favors. Not any more." 

Simon's voice was low and dangerous. "Wait just a minute. I never asked for favors. You offered. You made me feel special. If I was wrong about our friendship..." 

Grant reached out his hand and tried to touch Simon's arm, but Simon backed up abruptly, looking at Grant's hand as if its touch would be poisonous. Grant's face fell and tears started to fall from his pale eyes. "Damn it, Simon, I'm trying to protect you here, you stupid son-of-a-bitch." 

Simon stood rigidly watching Grant. "You aren't making any sense. What are you talking about?" 

Grant's tears fell unchecked down his face. "I was in love with Brent Sanders!" He shouted as loudly as his weakened condition would allow. "There, are you happy now that you know? Does it make a difference?" 

Grant closed his eyes and lay still. Simon never moved as he stared at his mentor. Grant finally opened his eyes and sighed before he spoke. "I was in love with him and he spurned me. Erickson and Sanders were lovers and I knew it, but I wanted Sanders for myself. So I killed him and framed John Erickson for his murder. I wanted them both to suffer. Sanders, for rejecting me, and Erickson, for having what I could not." Grant stopped and shivered violently. "I am a vindictive, cruel man, Simon" 

Blair and Jim were silent. Simon was incredulous, and started pacing the small room in long, agitated strides. "After all these years, you're telling me that confessing to a murder is easier than telling me you were in love with a man? What kind of screwed up reasoning is that?" Simon blurted out. 

Grant remained silent, not meeting Simon's eyes when he stopped at the foot of the bed and stared at him. "Grant, I've known you for many years, and never once have you shown me anything but kindness and friendship. Without you, I would have never had the success in my career that I enjoyed. You guided me and helped me in every way. You've been one of the best friends I've ever had. I just don't understand how you could live such a terrible lie. How could you murder someone and then live with yourself? You were a law enforcement officer, for God's sake." 

Grant sighed deeply and straightened his shoulders. A resigned look crossed his face. "Simon, I hope you can take this in the manner in which it is intended. I did all those things for you over the years because I love you." Grant nodded at Simon's silent questions. "Yes, Simon, I've loved you since the day you walked into my department, but I realized that after the evil thing I did to the last man I loved, I'd better keep my feelings to myself. I realized that I didn't deserve to have anyone love me, or to be in love with anyone. I found my happiness in helping you in your career. I did everything for you out of love, and out of a hope that by living a good and decent life after my horrible crimes, I might somehow pay for my terrible mistakes." 

Simon was in shock. "You never said... I never knew... You didn't try..." 

Grant watched Simon's face as the disappointment in him was reflected there. "Simon, please," He begged, "I never told you because I chose not to. But none of this excuses what I have done. You know, that evening when I hypnotized Blair, when he spoke about the FBI and the murder, I knew then that my past had finally caught up with me." 

Simon glared at Grant. "That's why you were so upset! What about those remarks you made? About Blair and Jim? What kind of two-faced liar are you?" 

Grant threw up his hands. "So now you know. I made accusations and implications to throw you off. I knew exactly why Blair called me a murderer. And when your men came to ask me about my time back then, and asked specifically about Erickson and Sanders, I knew that it was only a matter of time before they told you and you knew everything about me. I couldn't face you, so that's why I decided to leave." 

Simon shook his head. "So you thought if you ran, it would be better? You were still trying to protect your own ass, weren't you?" 

"Yes, damn it, I was." Grant's body seemed to shrink before Simon's eyes. "But the time for running is past. Now it's time to make a full confession and to apologize for what I did. Sanders and Erickson are long gone. I can only say that I am extremely sorry for what I did, and I am ready to accept whatever consequences the law demands. I insist on signing a full confession immediately." He finally looked at Jim and Blair. 

They exchanged glances and Blair spoke. "It's not up to us to forgive you. And as far as arresting you, that's entirely up to Simon. Jim and I feel that you owe it to the families of the dead men to make a full confession. They need to be vindicated. They deserve it." 

Grant stated adamantly, "If Simon refuses to arrest me, I will turn myself in to the FBI anyway. I believe in fate, and I believe in consequences after death. I have to die with a clear conscience." Grant's voice cracked. "I'm afraid to die with this on my soul. I'm afraid I'll burn in hell. And Simon, I need you to understand and forgive me. Please, I need this. If you can't forgive me, I know I won't survive." 

Simon glared at Grant. "How can you even ask for my forgiveness? Your entire life has been a fraud, including our friendship." Simon pointed a finger at Grant. "I want you to tell me exactly what part Ellison and Sandburg had in all of this. I don't understand how they know what happened, and why, after all these years, you suddenly have a guilty conscience." 

Grant shook his head. "You'd never believe me, Simon. Never. It's fate. It's a curse." 

"For God's sake, Grant, tell me now. I'm getting really tired of all this double talk and innuendo. What exactly are you trying to say?" Simon demanded. 

Grant stumbled over the words. "He's... They're... They've come back, Simon. Don't you understand? Sanders and Erickson. They've come back. Their souls are back." 

Simon held up both of his hands to stop Grant's ramble. He strode to the door and pulled it open forcefully. He did not meet Grant's pleading gaze, but instead looked directly at his detectives. "I've had just about enough. You two handle this. I need some fresh air." His voice broke as he waved a hand in Grant's direction, and he quickly left the room. 

Blair bit his lower lip and Jim pinched the bridge of his nose. Blair read Grant his rights and put a handcuff around his wrist and the other around the bed rail. Grant was silent, speaking only to acknowledge that he understood the rights that Blair read to him. Jim called the local FBI office, giving them the needed information about their apprehension of a murderer that had agreed to make a full confession. 

Jim snapped his phone closed. "Come on, Chief. Let's wait outside." 

"Wait." Grant called. Jim stopped with his hand on the doorknob. Blair stood with his hands in his pockets, watching Jim closely. Their eyes met and Jim shrugged noncommittally. They waited silently until Grant spoke. 

"You're Sanders and Erickson, aren't you? You've come back to send my soul to hell, haven't you?" Jim looked at Grant intently. Grant closed his eyes and muttered, "I remember those eyes, like cold steel." Grant picked at the sheet with nervous fingers. "I did love him." Grant opened his eyes to stare at Blair. "You look so like him." Grant whispered hoarsely. 

Blair silently returned Grant's stare for several seconds. Jim pulled open the door and Blair followed him into the hallway. They leaned against the wall across from the door to Grant's room while Jim filled Blair in on the details. "The Feds will be here soon. They're bringing someone to take his statement, and someone to man the door while Sessions is in the hospital." 

"Good, that's good, man. But what about Simon?" 

Jim leaned closer to Blair so that their shoulders were just touching. "I don't know, Blair. I hope he's okay. He didn't deserve any of this." 

"Yeah, I know. I like Simon a lot. I hope he doesn't hate us for all of this." 

Jim's eyes met Blair's. "Simon knows in his heart that we didn't cause any of it. We just need to give him some time to sort it all out. I've known the Captain a long time and he's a reasonable man. He won't hold it against us." 

Blair touched the side of Jim's chin with a finger. "Jim, as soon as the Feds get here, let's go home. I need to touch you. I need you to touch me." 

Jim gave Blair a soft smile. "Blair. I need to be close to you, too, and soon. My senses..." 

Blair stopped Jim with a finger to his lips. "You just need a Sentinel tune-up, Jim, and I'm just the Guide to give it to you." 

Jim shivered slightly as the overwhelming feelings of love and passion radiating from Blair washed over him and went straight into his heart. "Promise?" he teased lightly. 

Blair's heart skipped a beat as he saw the love, trust and desire in Jim's eyes. "Yes, I promise." 

* * *

End Past Lessons by LilyK: chakbalam@netscape.net

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Disclaimer: _The Sentinel_ is owned etc. by Pet Fly, Inc. These pages and the stories on them are not meant to infringe on, nor are they endorsed by, Pet Fly, Inc. and Paramount. 


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